Dumb Little Spacejourney for Two
by Jaha Canon
Summary: Sequel to my similarly titled story. Zim and Dib learn that reality television is not the only cruel thing corrupting the galaxy.
1. It starts with tears

**Dumb Little Spacejourney For Two**

**By: Jaha Canon**

**Disclaimer: Gee, I must really like typing the word disclaimer because I keep doing it everytime. Someone please do me a favor and tell me I can stop. What ARE these for, anyway?**

**Hello! This is the sequel to my other story Dumb Little Spacehouse for Two. I suppose you don't really have to read that story to understand this one, but it certainly help understand how exactly Zim and Dib ended up in this particular neck of the galaxy. Anyway, up to you. **

**As you can see, I decided to go for a simplier title than what I was thinking of before. **

**Thank you to September Rhyme and Chaos of the asylum for their reviews of the last chapter. Thanks also to Tallest Black (Obey the Tallest!) for sending me a message. **

~----~~~----~~~~---~~~

"WHY. ARE. YOU. SOOOOOOOO SLOW??" Zim screamed as he kicked the interior of the spaceship.

"Oh, that's a great idea, Zim," Dib said dryly, his arms crossed. "Could you stop damaging the inside of our escape vehicle?"

"I -would- do that, Dib creature, if it weren't SO. STUPIDLY. SLOW!" Zim replied. He was starting to tire himself out.

Dib looked apologetically at the pilot.

"Nah," the pilot said, waving his hand dismissively, "she's been through worse."

"Hey, um..." Dib sat in the seat next to the pilot's. "What's your name, by the way?"

"Me?" the pilot asked, seeming both surprised and delighted.

"Well, yeah, you." Dib said, he wondered who else he could've been referring to.

"I'm Racing Drone Number 103086." the pilot replied, proudly. "Or was that 103087..."

"Psssh, stupid racing drone forgetting his own number..." Zim mumbled as he tiredly sat down.

"I can't call you that." Dib said, ignoring Zim. "Drone... drone... jer... Hey! I could call you Jerome." pause "But that doesn't really suit you."

The pilot already looked like he forgot they were talking.

"Is it ok if I call you Ten?" Dib asked. No answer. "Hey, ummm... do you mind if..." The pilot's eyes were glued to the stars beyond the spaceship's windshield.

"RACING DRONE!" Zim screamed, kicking the back of the pilot's chair.

The pilot blinked, "Oh... hiya. What's up?" He looked at Zim questioningly. Zim pointed to Dib.

"Hey, would it be ok if I called you Ten?" Dib asked.

The pilot, now Ten, shrugged indifferently, but the same smile was on his race. "'s ok!"

Zim crossed his arms, "Still just a racer drone to me."

"Hmm..." Ten said thoughtfully, "maybe not no more."

Dib frowned, "Why's that?"

"Well, Koach is probably real mad right now. Cuz you guys broke that planet and all."

Something clicked in Zim's head, he let out a frustration groan.

Dib filled with dread. "Who's... coach?"

"Koach, STOOPID HYUUMAN," Zim explained, "is the leader of the planet Sportscastia. He and Produce-Sir have had a long, very well known....... alliance."

"Yup!" Ten chimed in. "They're friends. They're like this!" He held up his fingers to show that they were crossed.

"So, if he's mad, he might come after us." Dib guessed. "So I guess disabling Realiteevee and Produce-Sir wasn't enough."

Zim made sort of a "pssh" sound and did something that looked like would have been an eye roll of he had his human disguise on. "Koach smoach... he is no match for ZIM!"

Ten fidgeted nervously and Dib noticed.

"Hey Ten...?"

"Whoops, there's the planet!" Ten said suddenly. He steered the ship towards the surface to make a landing. "We just gotta stop for fuel here."

Zim looked out the window and frowned, "No way we're going THERE."

Dib looked at the planet trying to figure out what Zim was seeing or recognizing. "Where is that?"

"No one, I repeat, NO ONE in the Irken empire has any use for this planet, except for it's gooey productions melt the brains of our enemies."

"Got no choice, lil guy." Ten said with a smile, "Gots no fuel."

Zim seethed and began trying to burn a hole into Ten's head using only his eyes.

"What kind of planet is it, Ten?" Dib asked.

"It's real big. And round-"

"No, Ten, I mean what's it called?"

"Oh, umm.. Soapsudcia."

"Soapsudcia?" Dib repeated.

"A DISGUSTING planet that produces what you might be more familiar with calling... soap operas." Zim explained. The Irken had already began clearing out a cupboard to hide in.

Dib cringed, "But we're just going to be there long enough to refuel, right? How long does that take?"

"Oh, 'bout 3 hours." Ten replied, casually.

"Oh." Dib said, a little more than slightly stunned. "Well, a couple of hours shouldn't be too bad."

The spaceship landed on the surface of the planet. Ten exited the spaceship. "Well, come on, guys! The fueling drones will take care of ship."

Dib complied and exited the vehicle. "Are you coming Zim?" Silence. "Zim?" More silence. "Ten, where's Zim?"

"I think he's in there." Ten answered, pointing at the cupboard.

"There is NO WAY that ZIM is setting foot on this planet...." came the Irken's voice from inside the cupboard.

Ten shrugged. "Well, okey dokie. C'mon Dib."

Dib took one last look at the cupboard and followed Ten.

---~~~~----~~~~-----~~~~~~~~

In all of his Irken wisdom, Zim should've thought to pick a cupboard that was just a little bigger.

Plus, well, he was getting hungry.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to run to get a snack before Zim is back on that disgusting URRTH again." he told himself. Hugging himself reassuredly and finding himself unable to stop doing so, he crawled out of the cupboard and out of the spaceship.

---~~~~-----~~~~~~-----~~~~~~

"So is this WHOLE planet like a soap opera?" Dib asked, both terrified and interested.

"Yup! Pretty sillly, huh?" Ten answered with a grin.

"There you are!" yelled an accusing voice behind them. Both turned to see a female alien glaring at Ten. "After 15 years you finally return. Do you -know- how hard it is raise young on your own?"

Ten shrugged. "I suppose it's real hard." He looked at Dib's questioning gaze and shrugged good naturedly.

"Look who decided to come back...." said a loud booming voice. A very large, intimidating alien stepped out of the house that the female alien came from. He began stomping towards Ten and Dib.

"No, brother!" The female alien exclaimed, "Don't hurt him!"

"But he caused you so much pain these past 15 years, little sister!" the monster of an older brother replied.

Suddenly, the female alien's phone rang. "Hello? Oh no! We'll be right there!" She hung up her phone. "Uncle Jeb is in the hospital!"

The giant alien gasped, "He must be relapsing!" Both of them took off.

Dib watched them run off with an absolutely baffled expression. "Who were those people, Ten?"

Ten shrugged. "Iuno. Never seen 'em before. But that's how things happen here."

"...Oh."

The two continued walking.

They found themselves walking a park. They passed a couple sitting, talking on a park bench.

"You're hiding something and I know it. Is there something you can't tell me?"

"I... I... can't say it."

"Please, if it's important, tell me. I love you too much to know that you're suffering alone."

"But... I... I... ok, I will tell you."

"I'm listening."

"I... have cancer."

"...."

"I knew it! I knew that you would go silent like that."

"No, I mean..."

"What?"

"I have cancer, too."

Dib walked a little faster. "Does everyone here have cancer?"

"Yup, either that or they're pregnant. Or they were stabbed.... or they are about to stab someone. Or..."

"Maybe Zim had the right idea staying in the ship." Dib said, visibly disturbed.

"You wanna go back to the ship?" Ten asked, sounding a little disappointed.

"Yeah, sorry Ten."

"Okie dokie then."

They turned and started walking back.

When they arrived back, only an hour had passed since they arrived at the planet.

"Hey Zim. We're back." Dib said. There was no reply. "Zim?" He walked cautiously to the cupboard (he and Zim ARE still enemies, after all) and opened it. "He's not in there."

"Hm, that's real bad." Ten said.

"What? Why?" Dib asked.

"Well... this planet has a real bad effect on Irkens."

Dib's eyes widened. "What -kind- of bad effect?" Just then he spotted Zim. "There he is!" He pointed.

Ten looked the exact opposite direction from where Dib was pointing. "Where?"

"Over there! In that store." Dib nudged Ten to get him to be facing the right direction.

They went into the store.

Zim was standing on top of the counter. He was holding onto the collar of the shopkeeper's shirt. "You don't understand. You MUST tell me her name!"

"I would, sir, but I don't know her name either." the poor alien replied.

"Don't you know TRUE LOVE when you see it?" Zim exclaimed dramatically.

"Zim?" Dib interrupted cautiously.

"The Dib!" Zim let go of the shop keeper, spun around, jumped off the counter, ran up to Dib, and grabbed his shoulders. "Come! We must go find her!"

"Who, Zim?" Dib asked.

"My one true love!" Zim lamented. "She was here and now she is NOT!"

"Love? ...You?" Dib said with amusement.

"Surely you understand LOVE, Dib creature, your species more or less survives from it, remember?"

"Well, yes, I do _remember_, but..."

"The Dib must help me find her." he began dragging the human towards the door. He suddenly stopped and stared off into space. "ZIM is... dying inside."

"Dying inside? Haven't we wanted to kill each other since the day we met?" Dib said, increasingly baffled.

"Dib. Please! You're my **best friend** in the whole universe." He looked into Dib's eyes both intensely and pleading. So much so that Dib had to look away and blink a few times to try to erase the image from his mind.

_That's right._ Dib thought, _I suppose I would be Zim's best friend because he has no friends._ He shuddered a little.

_Come to think of it. Neither do I. Except maybe Ten. _

"Remember when we were housemates?" Zim said in a nostalgic tone as the dragged Dib down the sidewalk.

"Oh, come on, Zim. We just got away from Realiteevee last night." Dib argued while he attempted to drag his feet. When did Zim get so strong?

He glanced behind and noticed with relief that Ten was following them.

"Come on, Dib, do this for Zim! Help Zim find her!" Zim said pleadingly.

"Zim, quit it now, this is really really creepy."

"But.. Dib...." Zim made a sound that resembled a sob, "could it be... that there's absolutely no one beside me in the world?" He looked Dib.

Dib was startled. Tears. On Zim's face.

"Umm...." Dib's eyes darted around. "Hey Zim, look!" He pointed the opposite direction. "There she is!"

Zim spun around to face the direction Dib was pointing. "Where?!"

Dib took this opportunity to twist his arm out of Zim's hold and run off. Ten joined him in running as he passed him.

"If I have nightmares, it's all Zim and this planet's fault."

Ten chuckled but made of reply, which made Dib wonder if he understood what he was laughing about at all.

"Let's just get the spaceship and take off." Dib said.

"There's still another hour." Ten replied. "So we can't."

Dib glanced behind him. "We really should get out of here before Zim finds us again."

"You really wanna leave without Zim?"

"Yes, Ten, I really want to leave without Zim."

Ten looked extremely uncomfortable with the idea. "Well, if ya say so. But still gonna be an hour."

"Ok. Well, let's just lay low until we can finally get out of here. Come on, let's grab something to eat."

"Alrighty."

--~~~----~~~~~-----

"Diiib...mon...ster...."

Dib froze. Did Zim find them? He turned to see Zim crawling towards them.

Dib had to poke fun at him. "What Zim? Do you have cancer? Oh, or are you pregnant or stabbed?"

"Dib..." the Irken struggled as he climbed into the seat next to Dib. "Get... Zim... outofhere..."

"Hey Zim, the love of your life broke her leg and is in the hospital."

"No! I must go to her!" Zim exclaimed, he jumped from his chair and began to run. He stopped himself, fell to the ground again, dragged himself back to Dib's table and clutched the table leg. "....No.... nodibdon'tsay...that. Must... leaveplanet."

Dib looked at Ten questioningly.

"He's fightin' it, isn't he?" Ten said, clearly impressed.

Zim looked worn out, but he nodded a reply.

Dib looked at Ten for a while, then sighed. "Ok, Zim." he said after a while. "If I am going to abandon you on a planet, I should at least have the decency to leave you on a planet that suits you a little better."

Zim gave Dib a immensely rare grateful look. Then he gave into the power of the planet again, jumped up, and began running towards to the door. "I'm coming sweetheart!"

Dib turned to Ten and gave him a nod. Ten hopped up, caught up to the Irken quickly, and grabbed him before he could get away.

"No! You don't understand!" Zim sobbed hysterically as he clawed at Ten to try to escape. "She's having a BABY. It's not mine but I will be the best father I can be! I LOVE HER!"

Dib smiled at Ten, "I really wish I had my video camera right now."

They paid for the food and brought the still struggling Zim back to the spaceship.

"Yup. All fueled and ready to go!" Ten announced.

"Good. I can't wait to get out of here." Dib replied.

"NO! NOOOO! You can't do this to me!" Zim's hysterics continued.

"You'll thank us later." Dib said coolly. "No, wait, you're Zim, you won't." He shrugged.

Zim struggled against the ropes that were tying him to the chair as the spaceship took off again into the sky.

Zim's struggling slowly ceased and he began blinking confused.

"Are you feeling better, Zim?" Dib asked, untying him.

Suddenly, memories of everything that happened flooded back into Zim's head. He got off the chair and climbed back into the cupboard.

"Guess he needs some time to regather his dignity." Ten said in one of his rare moments of wisdom.

"That's fine with me. I need some time to make sure that the memory of soap opera Zim is blocked from my mind forever." Dib said as he stared out the windshield at the stars.

"Awww.. sorry you didn't like Soapsudcia." Ten said, "It can really kinda silly and fun sometimes."

Dib gave Ten a strange look, "Hey, if you don't mind me asking. What planet ARE you from, anyway?"

~~~---~~~---~~~~

…**I guess it's technically a "Dumb Little Spacejourney for Three" at the moment. Oh well… :)**

**Oh yeah, and I do realize that "Tenn" is the name of an Irken invader. I don't know, I still like the name Ten for the racing drone guy. Plus Dib doesn't know what any of the Irken invaders names are, so it wouldn't matter to him anyway. *insert gigantic shrug* Really, I just kind of wanted to give him a three letter name because all of the major IZ characters do.  
**


	2. Then some fear

Dumb Little Spacejourney for Two

**By: Jaha Canon**

**Much thanks to Famelia_Ly for reviewing. **

**Thanks for reading. :) **

**---~~~~-----~~~~~--------~~~~**

"Well, here we are! Saifai!" Ten announced as they landed. He seemed to think this planet was pretty cool, too.

"Saifai?" Dib questioned. "So it's some kind of sci-fi channel planet?"

"Yep!" Ten replied cheerfully. "But I gotta stay with the ship this time."

"Stupid ship!" came Zim's mumbling voice from the cupboard. "It **crawls** through space and **constantly** needs fuel."

Ten nodded cheerfully.

"Zim has a point, you know, we're not getting very far." Dib said pointedly.

"Well, I was thinking we'd go get my better spaceship after we finish here."

"Oh!" Dib replied, feeling both surprised and relieved that Ten thought ahead.

"Anyway, you guys go ahead and walk around." Ten said.

Dib walked up to Zim's cupboard and kicked the door. "Come on, Zim! Let's go check out the planet."

"Zim will stay in here." Zim said stubbornly.

"If it makes you feel any better," Dib said, "Ten and I don't care if your dignity is trashed."

Boy, was it hard for him not to mock the Irken.

The door opened lightly and Zim's arm came out. His fingers were bent like claws and he made a swipe towards Dib. He missed because he had really no way of knowing where Dib was.

Dib turned back towards Ten, "I'll just go by myself, then."

"Nah, that's no good!" Ten almost scolded, "It's no good for a human like you to be wandering around Saifai alone."

Dib frowned, but Ten -was- the person who was helping them escape so he didn't try to argue.

He turned back to the cupboard. "Come on, Zim! I really want to check out this planet!"

A vicious looking Zim eye peeked out. "No one believes anything that they broadcast anyway."

Dib may or may not have heard Zim. "They're the paranormal investigators of the galaxy! Boy, I really want to see what kinds of things they investigate!"

"They are -not- like **you**, Earthscum-" Zim began his usual banter, but then stopped, "well, actually maybe they are."

"Come on, Zim! If it weren't for me, you'd still be on that last planet chasing after some alien girl, getting stabbed, and..."

"Ok... OK! I got it, DIIIB." Zim yelled and partially screeched. He climbed out of the cupboard. "We'll appease your stupid crazy HYUUMAN brain with this stupid crazy planet."

"Ok, guys," Ten said, pleasantly, "stay together."

Zim did something that resembled an eyeroll, mock saluted Ten, and left the spaceship with Dib following.

Zim and Dib had only been walking for about 5 minutes, when they saw someone surrounded by several others down the road.

Zim immediately stopped and began turning around to walk the other direction.

"Who's that, Zim?" Dib asked.

Zim gave the human boy a glare before answering. "I guess the DIIIB would call him a famous" Zim did air quotes. "paranormal investigator. Not a day goes by does Zim not wonder why the Almighty Tallest haven't already has his show cancelled and that equally mediocre entertainer destroyed."

Dib began walking down the street towards him.

Zim only crossed his arms and watched as Dib quickened his pace.

"Oh, hello." Greeted the Saifai-ian as he saw Dib approach.

Dib put out his hand to shake, "Hi. I'm Dib and I fr-"

"I know who you are, Dib from URTH," the paranormal investigator reached out and shook Dib's hand. "I must say that I am very interested in learning about the beings on your home planet."

Admittedly, this made Dib feel a little at ease, but he ignored it. "I don't believe I've caught your name."

"My name is Norm. Nice to meet you."

Dib found himself nodding enthusiastically, "Well, it's great to meet you too! I want to learn all about what kinds of things paranormal investigators from other planets research."

"Oh really?" Norm said pleasantly, "Well, I have a show on very soon. Why don't you come be on my show?"

"Sure!" Dib replied enthusiastically. "You know, I'm a big fan of a paranormal show back on my planet, too. I was even on the show… although, I guess, it didn't turn out so well."

Dib's enthusiastic speaking continued on and on as he walked with Norm. Norm just listened and nodded.

Zim watched as Dib disappeared down the road. He shrugged. The only reason he was walking around on this planet in the first place was because that idiotic racing drone made him accompany Dib. And it was Dib who walked off, not him.

So Zim turned on his heel and began making his way back to the ship.

He was almost all the way back to the refueling station when a commercial came on a giant screen.

"_Citizens of Saifai. Don't miss today's installment of 'The Paranormal Studies of Norm.' Today, we will finally learn what makes HYUMANS so squishy and what makes them tick. Don't miss this live dissection in just 15 minutes!"_

Zim watched the screen blankly. He wasn't expecting this, but he felt kind of stupid for not seeing it coming. Deciding it was none of his business and, well, he wasn't exactly crazy about Dib, his human insides, OR outsides. Although he did kind of want to destroy Dib himself, well, this was excellent news. He walked the rest of the way to the refuel station.

He found Ten standing by his ship waiting for the refueling to finish. "Hiya!" the racing drone greeted.

Zim only dignified the greeting with a nod.

"Where's Dib?" Ten asked.

"He walked off. Guess he's going to be on Norm's show." Zim said, wondering if he should try to hide the huge grin on his face.

"Nuh uh! He's not -that- human, is he?" Ten said, seeming very shocked.

"What HYUUMAN?" Zim asked, feigning innocence through anger.

Honestly, Ten, what other human could it possibly have been?

"They're gonna tear him open and look at what's inside." Ten said, alarmed.

Zim looked up and looked at the uniquely colored Saifai sky. "Yeah, I guess so." He got tired of the conversation and began making his way to the ship's door.

"Oh no you don't" said Ten as he physically blocked the door with his body.

Zim glared. "Let me into the ship, Racing Drone." He commanded.

"No." Ten answered. He didn't seem angry or even phased at the command.

"Let. Me. IN." Zim yelled.

"Nope."

"You're telling ZIM that ZIM must go and rescue the PIG child from being dissected. The same PIG child who has wished the same fate on ZIM many times." Zim ranted angrily.

"Yup." Ten replied. "We're not leaving here without Dib."

"You…. HORRIBLE…"

"The show starts in 7 minutes."

"YOU rescue him!"

"I gotta watch the ship."

"ZIM will watch the ship!"

Ten rolled his eyes, "Zim will take the ship."

"CURSES!" Zim screamed. He let his spider legs out of his pak and began making his way down the road he just came.

"Curse that STUPID Racing Drone for being only selectively stupid…" Zim mumbled as he made his way to the studio at about twice the rate it would've taken him on regular legs.

------~~~-----~~~~~--------~~~~~----

"Wow, this is amazing! Thanks again for letting me on your show, Norm!" Dib said gleefully.

"Really, it's no problem at all." Norm replied as he watched the Earthling boy catch his breath from all of the talking he had been doing.

"Norm?" said someone, "Get ready, we'll be live in 10 seconds."

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2… 1.

"Hello! And welcome to another installment of '_The Paranormal Studies of Norm!'_ I'm Norm, your host. Today we have a very special guest. You might remember him from the hit Realiteevee show, '_Irkens and Earthens.'_ I present to you, Dib from UURTTH!"

The audience erupted into applause.

"We have not been familiar with URRTH's HYUUMANS very long. But, as we all know, they have captured imaginations all of the galaxy!" Norm said to the audience, "And today, we finally find out how these otherworldly creatures function!" He looks to the sides of the set. "Prepare the dissection table!"

"What?!?" Dib exclaimed. Before he could send the message of "DANGER" through his mind and react, he was grabbed, laid on a table, and strapped down. He watched as Norm picked up a scalpel.

_How did I not see this coming...?_ Dib's last remaining rationality desperately wanted to know.

"Stop! Don't! I mean..." Dib paused for a second, "There's nothing in there except blood, organs, and bones... I mean, there is some other stuff too, but it's really not anything interesting. Actually, it's gross! Even other humans think human innards are gross. Nothingspecial...gross! Pleasedon'tcutmeopen!!"  
Norm signaled a staff person, who put something over Dib's mouth.

"Mmm! MMMMM!! Mmnnoo!"

The scalpel neared the human boy and was about to make the first incision when the audience door opened a crash.

"Give me the smelly HYUUMAN and nobody gets hurt!" said Zim viscously as he paraded through said door. He began making his way to the stage, knocking over anyone who got in his way with his robotic spider limbs from his pak.

"Oh, hello Zim!" Norm said pleasantly.

"Mmm!"

"Would you like to make the first cut?" Norm offered.

"NNNN!" Dib's struggles increased.

Zim visibly fidgeted. This was something different from how he thought this plan would go, but it was kind of tempting to go with this new plan that was offered.

Then again, he'd probably be squirted all over by that horrible red water juice.

Plus, he needed Dib if he wanted to get off of this ridiculous planet.

After some consideration that took way too long for comfort, Norm was picked up by a spider limb and thrown into the audience.

Zim quickly freed Dib and began leading him out of the studio. They got back outside and ran for a few moments before they spotted Ten inside of the ship.

Ten waved, "Hey guys! Hop in!"

The two climbed in and the ship took off.

Zim crossed his arms. "ZIM could have made it back to the refueling station."

"Probably." Ten answered, "But I saw Koach just as the refueling was finished. He's catching up."

Zim frowned.

"Mmm mmm mm mmmmm mm." commented Dib.

Ten nodded as if Dib had actually made words.

"Ah, here we are!" Ten announced as he landed the ship.

"Mmm nmm?"

"It's a parking asteroid. Neat, huh?"

"Mm."

Ten looked at Dib. The human boy's mouth was still covered and his arms were not free.

"Whoops, sorry!" Ten apologized. He freed Dib's arms.

Dib looked at Ten gratefully as he freed his mouth. "So you have a better ship parked here?"

Ten nodded.

Ten's other ship turned out to be a rather big one. They were able to fit the racing ship on it.

Ten sat in the pilot's seat.

"So we're heading to Earth now, right?"

"Well, maybe not..."

"And WHY is that, Racing Drone?" Zim snapped.

"Well, this ship can get a lot farther, but… it's been a while since I last refueled it." Ten explained, somewhat embarrassed.

"AGH! This again! Don't tell me I'm going to have to rescue the DIB again from **another** planet!"

"Hey, I rescued you from that first planet!"

Zim glared and grumbled.

"It's so great to be on this adventure together!" said, you guessed it, Ten.


	3. Laughter?

**Dumb Little Spacejourney for Two**

**By: Jaha Canon**

**This is the first chapter I'm posting from my new MacBook. ;)**

**Crazy4pie- Hello! Thanks for the review! Actually, no, I wasn't planning on having them land on a cartoon planet. Why? Because they're already in a cartoon.**

**Looks like I've lost reviewers between stories. :S  
**

---~~~~~-----~~~~~------~~~

"You'll like this next planet, guys!" Ten announced as they landed once again.

"I'm not leaving the ship this time." Dib said.

Zim simply didn't say anything. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Ten.

"Come on, guys! It's Standupia! All of the comedy shows come from here."

"Oh yes, comedy shows have sooo much more dignity than soap operas!" Zim mocked, his voice oozing with sarcasm.

"That's the spirit!" Ten exclaimed.

"They don't think dissecting humans is funny, here, do they?" questioned Dib.

"Nahh, that was last season." Ten said dismissively.

Dib paled. "Oh..." he said after a few seconds, "you were joking."

Ten frowned at Dib, concerned. "You don't have a lot of a sense of humor do you?"

Dib was somewhat annoyed by this comment, "I happen to think I have a pretty good sense for irony." He began heading to the door, signaling that he changed his mind about staying in the ship.

"Well, ok, then." Ten shrugged and smiled again. "Are you coming, Zim?"

Zim only made a "psssh" sound.

Ten shrugged and opened the door to the ship.

"Are you worried about Zim taking the ship while we're gone?" Dib asked.

"Nah, this one's got good security."

-~~~~----~~~~~----~~~~

Zim watched the door of the ship closed. He could hear the refueling happening outside the ship.

He had never watched a terrible lot of comedy programming. It just wasn't destructive enough to amuse him. But, what he did catch before included pies being thrown into faces.

"Another STUPID planet!" Zim mumbled to himself. "Stupid CO-me-DIANS and their stupid pies..."

Suddenly an idea popped into his head. "Yes! That just might work! Zim will learn the ways of the pie fools and make a... a... SUPER PIE OF DOOM. Then, I will throw it at the Dib and the Racer Drone!"

After laughing maniacally for a good long time, Zim finally made his way out of the ship.

--~~~~~-----~~~~~-------~~

"So... what kind of show is this again?" Dib asked. He and Ten were standing in a pretty good sized line.

"It's called SYLOLIES! You'll like it." Ten answered, clearly excited beyond any sort of rational thought process.

"Sil... o... lees?"

"S-Y-L-O-L-I-E-S. Speak Your Lines Or Live In Eternal Shame."

"Oh..."

As they reached the door, there was someone using a machine- scanning everyone as they entered the studio.

"That guy is scanning for senses of humor." Ten explained.

After Dib was scanned, the operator of the machine looked at Ten.

"Sorry, we don't allow brain dead people into the audience."

"I'm NOT brain dead!" Dib exclaimed.

The operator looked at the scanner. "But I have never seen anyone at a flat zero in sense of humor."

Dib was infuriated. "I have a keen sense of irony, thank you very much!" He pushed past the operator through the door.

The operator shrugged and scanned Ten. The machine beeped wildly and some smoke came from it. The operator simply smiled, shook the machine a little, and gestured to Ten to walk into the studio.

Dib was waiting for Ten.

"I can't believe they think I have absolutely no sense of humor! That's outrageous! I -do- have a sense of humor!" the Earthling rambled.

"Uh huh..." as all Ten said as they sat down.

"Come on, Ten, you don't also think that-"

"It's starting!" Ten interrupted, grateful for good timing.

'I'll show them' thought Dib, 'I will enjoy this show and laugh at all the right times.'

--~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~~----

"TEACH ZIM THE WAYS OF YOUR PIES!" Zim exclaimed as he charged through a door.

He only got a bunch of blank looks.

Someone who appeared to be a receptionist at a front desk looked at him. "Excuse me, we're filming something right now."

Zim looked around. Sure enough there were cameras. One of them was filming him.

"Very well, Zim will watch and he will learn of the PIES."

The actors and crew looked confused, but continued.

"DAMN IT, JAM!" an actor came onto the set infuriated.

"What's the problem, Dew?" "Jam" replied casually.

"You know what the problem is, JAM," "Dew" said angrily, "you stole my stuff and put it in the vending machine."

The receptionist was clearly trying not to laugh.

"The vending machine?!?" Jam replied baffled. "How did your things get in there?"

Dew eyed him suspiciously. "I know your friends with the Vending Machine Drone!"

Jam held up his hands, still keeping an innocent expression.

"Zim doesn't get it." Zim interrupted the program, getting annoyed looks. "If this DEW wants his things back from the vending machine, why doesn't he just destroy it? Then make a gigantic super weapon to destroy this JAM guy?"

"Well, then it wouldn't be funny." the actor playing Jam said.

"I think it would be funny." Zim said indignantly.

Everyone simply shrugged that off.

Zim grew even more annoyed. "When do you start throwing pies so that I can begin creating my pies of DOOM?!?"

"Throwing pies is a little too old school." The receptionist commented.

"Yeah, we could do better than that." the actor playing Dew added.

"That's what she said!" exclaimed another actor as he entered the room.

The receptionist rolled her eyes. "That's just Maik."

Zim looked at Maik. Clearly this strange being thought what he had said was amusing somehow. But how? No one died! Nothing exploded!

Zim roared with frustration. "I DON'T GET IT! AND IF YOU DON'T SHOW ME YOUR PIE TECHNOLOGY IMMEDIATELY, I WILL HAVE THE TALLEST CANCEL AND DESTROY YOU FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY---"

He didn't get to finish his sentance because he was ushered out the door and the door was slammed shut behind him.

"I'll make my OWN pie!" decided Zim, "It will be far more superior than any other pie the world has seen!"

----~~~~~-----~~~~~~

Dib's reactions to jokes were strained at best and he began to wonder if there actually was something to the accusations he had been getting sense they arrived on this planet.

He wondered this, but at the same time he is still a rather stubborn individual. Maybe not quite the extent of Zim, but still quite stubborn.

Dib looked around somewhat anxiously and awkwardly joined in the laughter.

"Now," said the host, "we will choose someone from the audience who Wein will sing to."

Hands, tentacles, and just about anything similar to an arm-like limb shot up. Ten sat on the edge of his seat to try to make his hand higher than everyone else's.

"How about..." the host scanned the audience. "You! Kid from UURTH."

"Me?" asked Dib. He didn't raise his hand.

"Awww... lucky!" Ten beamed.

Dib was led down to the stage and sat onto a stool.

The host turned to the audience again, "What is something that can be found on URTH?"

Different suggestions came from the audience.

"OK! I heard 'pterodactyl'!"

"Actually those have been extinct for a really long ti-" Dib was unable to finish his sentence before an alien was standing by the stool he was sitting on. "Is he really going to sing to me?"

As the music was starting, Dib was skimming through his memories to figure out whether anything weirder than this had ever occurred in his life.

The alien began to sing-

"So I went to URTH one day

And traveled around until

I came across this boy named Dib

who had ideas to kill

He rode a pterodactyl

As so many HYUMANS do

He put away his talking to box

and said "I will dissect you..."

And that's how I met Dib the Paranormal Investigator

When his pterodactyl's tired he rides an alligator

With a head so huge, it's wonder the beast can carry.

If I were a pterodactyl I'd be more than wary.

He says he's not crazy

But we all know that's not true.

Because if you weren't crazy, Dib,

we wouldn't all want to watch you."

Dib was partly embarrassed and partly annoyed.

The alien scanned his face. "You have no sense of humor at all, do you?"

Before Dib could defend himself, he looked at Ten in the audience. He was frantically gesturing to another section of the audience. Dib looked over.

And there he was. A HUGE alien wearing a cap and having a whistle around his neck. He looked absolutely sinister.

Koach?

Dib jumped up from his stool, but before he could move, the studio door slammed open.

Zim marched in and his eye's immediately met Dib's.

"PREPARE TO EAT PIE OF DOOM, HYUUMAN PIG!" he yelled and threw the pie towards him.

Dib dodged easily along with the alien that just sang to him. He heard and felt the pie explode behind him.

"The host!" yelled some voices.

Dib, Ten, and Zim took the chaos as an opportunity to get out.

"Tell me how that was supposed to work again, Zim?" Dib asked as they ran back to the ship.

"Well, DUH, URTHscum, I was trying to DESTROY you." Zim replied.

"Well, not happening if Koach catches up with us." Ten remarked.

At the same time Dib and Zim replied-

"So that was Koach??"

"Ugh! He's here??"

They reached the ship and we're about to get in.

"Wait!" said a voice behind them.

"It's OK, guys, it's not Koach." Ten said as he turned.

"Stay in Standupia!" the sense of humor scanning drone pleaded, "The host of SYLOLIES has been destroyed and we need a replacement! Racing Drone, not one person in that whole studio had a higher sense of humor level than you."

Ten looked uncertain, but Dib was certain that he saw his face light up briefly after hearing the offer.

"You should do it, Ten." Dib suggested. "You really like this planet and you can't go back to Sportscastia, right?"

"DIB you moron, we need the Racing Drone's ship to get out of here!" Zim snapped.

"I'll stay!" Ten announced happily. "You guys can take my ship. Don't worry about it."

"Ten.... well... wow, thank you!" was all Dib could say.

"Well, that solves that. COME ON, URTH scum, let's GO!" Zim hollered as he began examining the door to figure out how to open it.

Dib looked at Ten, who still looked thoughtful.

"OK. I got it!" There is one code to lock the ship and another to unlock it. He told Zim the locking code and Dib the unlocking code. "You can't leave each other anywhere now."

The way that Zim grumbled affirmed that he was, indeed, planning on abandoning Dib somewhere at some point. Dib simply looked annoyed.

"Good bye, guys! Thanks for the adventure!" Ten waved.

Dib waved back. "Bye Ten!"

He unlocked the ship under Zim's impatient glare. Then the Earthling and then Irken disappeared into the ship. The ship took off into the sky.

----~~~------~~~~~-----~~~~

**The shows are more similar to real shows because I am far more familiar with comedy shows than I am with other programs. :) I know the song sucked- forgive me!**


	4. Praise?

**Dumb Little Spacejourney for Two**

**By: Jaha Canon**

**It is SUPER RARE for me to update so frequently. I haven't been in the habit of updating stories THIS frequently since I was in high school. Now I am a college graduate with a full time job living alone in a foreign country. *mind boggled* Really, though, my job has been really dull lately and I've been writing chapters to this story to kill time. Having fun with it, though. I'm already actually well into finishing the next chapter after this one.**

**Woo! I doubled my reviews from previous chapters! (This means I got two... ;) )**

**Famelia Ly- Thanks for reviewing again! You think that Dib and Zim NEED Tak to keep the level of bickering up? I always thought of Ten as someone who caused them to fight LESS. *grins* You'll see.**

**Ninja chick- Thanks for the kind review. I appreciate it! Just don't go around throwing the word "fan" at me because it'll give me delusions. ;D**

**This chapter and the next one are going to be a bit shorter than the others so far, I think. My chapters usually aren't so long to begin with. Sorry!  
**

~~----~~~----~~~~~~~~~~-------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~---------~~~~~~~~~~~~

"GET THAT SMELLY ENORMOUS HEAD OF YOURS AWAY FROM THOSE CONTROLS!"

"I can pilot this ship just as well as you can, Zim!"

"But you're doing it WRONG!"

"What? And you can pilot this ship better?"

"With my eyes closed, HYUUMAN."

"Hey!" Dib yelled as he was pushed.

"Never let a HYUUMAN do what an Irken can do better. Which is everything! Bwhahaha!"

"Are you actually piloting this thing with your eyes closed?" .... "Stop it, Zim! Open your eyes!" .... "ZIM!"

Dib grabbed part of the steering wheel just in time to avoid crashing into an asteroid.

"Hm. Well, that was close." commented Zim nonchalantly. He had opened his eyes when Dib grabbed the wheel. "You can let go of the wheel now, stink beast."

Dib shot Zim a glare that was part annoyance, part fatigue, and part infuriated. His body was calming down from what had just happened.

"Let me pilot, Zim." he said after a while.

"Tell me one good reason why ZIM should let the Dib pilot?"

"Because YOU almost crashed!" Dib replied accusingly.

Zim rolled his eyes. "But I didn't!"

"Because -I- grabbed the wheel!"

Zim's eyes looked down at the part of the wheel that Dib was still holding onto.

"Speaking of that..."

"I am NOT letting go!"

"Let go!!"

"YOU let go!"

Within seconds, this turned into the two of them wrestling, neither of them in the pilots chair.

"ZIM! Stop! Wait!" Dib said after a few seconds.

"Are you surrendering pathetic HYUUMAN?" Zim mocked.

"Not that! If we're here fighting back here, then who's piloting the shi-"

CRASH.

---~~~~-----~~~~~~~

The world was blurry when Dib opened his eyes.

"Where am I?" he asked, feeling groggy.

"You're in the Sacred Squiggly Spooch Medical Attention Facility." said a kind voice. "You and that Irken crashed rather brutally."

"Ugh. Right." Dib replied, still out of it. 'So I'm in some kind of alien hospital?'

"Praise the Tallest that you both had very minor injuries. Your ship, on the other hand..."

Dib became more alert with the mention of the Tallest. Although the possibility that this facility couldn't be trusted should have dawned on him even before that.

The owner of the kind voice, obviously a sort of nurse, opened up a curtain dividing the room to show Zim in the next bed.

"Way to crash the ship, SMELLYPIGCHILD." Zim said accusingly. He was obviously very aggravated.

"Where are we, Zim?" Dib asked.

"Based on our coordinates before the crash, we're on the planet for the Tallest Worship Channel." Zim answered, not having the strength to argue more.

"How is this any different from anywhere else where the Tallest are seen as infallible rulers?"

"Meeeh..." Zim said in lazy protest, not wanting to spare energy on Dib's stupid questions. "They add a lot of ridiculous mythology. The Tallest find it creepy, but it works really well for some of the conquered planets that aren't so easily brainwashed."

"Oh."

"You boys must surely be protected by the Tallest to survive a crash like that." said the nurse as she re-entered the room.

"See?" Zim said to Dib, "they think the Tallest protect the likes of YOU."

The nurse didn't seem to hear Zim's comment.

"Of course, you'll be appearing on our network upon being discharged tomorrow."

Dib looked at the nurse. "And if we refuse?"

"You can't really, DIB," Zim said in an annoyed tone. One of the good parts of having the Racer Drone with them is that he could explain all of these trivial things to the human. "The studio is connected to this hospital. They'll deliver us right to the stage."

The lights were turned off.

Dib sighed, "I guess the only thing left to do now is to get some sleep."

"ZIM does not require the PATHETIC HYUUMAN sleeee-" his voice faded out.

"Zim?"

No answer.

"Zim? Are you sleeping?" He squinted across the empty room in the dark and saw the Irken form lying still. "Weird. I thought he couldn't do that."

----~~~~-----~~~~---

"Good morning!" Chirped the nurse. "About ready to be discharged?"

"I am, I guess." Dib answered, "but Zim's not awake yet." He frowned, confused at the abnormality of Zim's paranormal form lying so still and quiet.

"Whoops!" the nurse said. She strolled up to Zim's bed and unplugged something from him. Then she shook him awake.

"Applesauce sounds like a water fall melting over a thousand hungry maples." mumbled Zim.

"There! He's awake now."

"But he's making less sense than usual." Dib pointed out.

"NoI'mfine.... Diiiiib." Zim slurred.

"See? He's fine. You guys are on in 5 minutes!" She, along with others, sat Dib and Zim in wheel chairs and began moving them towards the studio.

Zim spread out his arms, "I'M FLYING!"

They were delivered to the stage where the ship, in ruins, sat near the middle.

"Wow, I'm glad Ten didn't ask us to return his ship." Dib commented, mostly to himself.

Zim, who was next to him, looked over at Dib and stared at him.

"What, Zim?" Dib asked.

Zim squinted at Dib. "Your skin is pink."

".....thanks?"

"No wait...." Zim squinted more and leaned to get a better look. "or is it white? Oh, you have fingers. And limbs."

"I never knew I would say this, but I can't wait until you get your wits back."

"Wow- I can see my hands from here!" Zim exclaimed. His sudden loud voice along with his proximity to Dib startled the human.

"Ladies and gentlemen! We are witnessing a miracle today! Just yesterday- YES, yesterday! This ship crashed brutally down on the surface of our devoted planet and both of the passengers, Irken Zim and Earthen Dib SURVIVED! This must simply be the work of the ALMIGHTY TALLEST!"

"Praise The Tallest!" chanted the audience.

"Peas!" exclaimed Zim. Then in a small, almost inaudible voice, "Tallll..."

Suddenly, Dib noticed a microphone shoved into his face.

"What do you have to say about this amazing miracle which has spared your life?" Dib was asked.

"Umm... welll...." Dib paused. He couldn't very well say what he really thought of the Tallest -here-. "I am very grateful....? for... umm... that I live now." He then tried to smile as convincingly as possible to the camera.

"And how about you?" The microphone was moved to Zim.

Zim looked it, tapped it, and giggled at the sound it made. "It went boom!" he said while giggling. "Zim made the thing go boom!!"

"Interesting. And would you have had the chance to experience this "boom" if the Almighty Tallest hadn't saved your life?"

Zim's face went serious. "No, there would be no boom without the Tallest. There wouldn't even be a bam or a blast or a even the smallest little ping without the Tallest." He stood up only to fall to his knees. "I couldn't LIVE in a world with no sound!"

Dib was glad that Zim at least didn't cry this time.

The audience was completely silent.

Dib went still with fear, _Did Zim say something offensive?_

"Please, tell us more." requested the host.

Zim stared blankly for a while, processing the request. "O-K then." Another long pause. "So there was a little girl and she went to a house. She ate a lot of somethingorother and broke a chair. The... umm... gophers that owned the place came home and said... uhhh... PRAISE THE TALLEST!"

"PRAISE THE TALLEST!" repeated the audience, among cheers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have a prophet amongst us!"

"I make my own waffles!" Zim announced. "No, I lied! Gir makes the waffles and that was only once!"

Then the Irken doubled over in a fit of giggles.

Dib looked around feeling the need to get out of there and away from the planet increasing.

Just then, part of the ceiling broke open and a gigantic ship came crashing through. Part of it opened and quickly swallowed the broken ship. The door opened and someone called out. "Jump in! We'll fix your ship and then you can be on your way!"

It might've been the biggest leap of faith Dib had ever taken, but he grabbed Zim by the wrist and ran to the open door. He pushed Zim through.

"You can't take our prophet!" yelled many voices.

"Umm... Uhh.... PRAISE THE TALLEST!" Dib yelled before quickly boarding the ship and slamming the door behind him.

Who knows what will happen next?

~~~----------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~------~~~~~~~~~~

**As always, thanks for reading.**


	5. Repairs?

**Dumb Little Spacejourney for Two**

**By: Jaha Canon**

**Ummm.... wow! Thanks! I went from 4 reviews the last time I posted a chapter to the current 13. Thanks for reading.**

**Crazy4Pie- I guess I wasn't clear about what was screwing up Zim's head so badly. Remember that part of the last chapter when the first realized that she left Zim plugged into something? Basically he got an accidental overdose of some kind of drug used on Irkens for medical purposes. I guess that could've killed a human, but you know Zim doesn't go down easily. :) Thanks for reviewing!**

**September Rhyme- Hey, good to have you reading and reviewing again. OK- I'll start with your Chapter 1 review- No, Ten is not Irken. I am not sure why, but I always imagined him being quite a bit taller than Zim and Dib. You know, one of those gentle giant sorts. Chapter 2 review- I am GLAD you like Ten, I like him a lot, too. Oh, and the ZADR vibes you got, weren't intentional -THIS- time, but you're welcome. ;) Chapter 4- I don't get what you meant by "two prophets". As always, thanks for reading and reviewing (late or not!)**

**Chaos of the asylum- Hey! Another returning reader/reviewer! Good to hear from you again! What's this "Whose Line Is It Anyway" show? *feigns ignorance* :) And yes, Dib COULD have left Zim then. I figured it was a mixture of the fact this brain was sort of scrambled and overwhelmed and the fact that he doesn't know the code to lock the ship. The whole... ummm... not knowing the locking code is going to come into play later. ;)**

**Ninja chick- Thanks for reviewing, yet again! Funny you should mention hoping that Ten shows up again. I actually feel the same way! (haha) But, sadly, I don't think his return fits into the rest of the story. I did really like Ten and I kind of miss having him in the story. I am playing with the idea of writing a sequel to THIS story just because I would like to see Ten come back. But I don't really know what the story would be about other than I -definitely- plan on getting Dib and Zim back on Earth at the end of this one.**

**Oh yes, and I received a private message from WillowFae! Thanks for that! Hope you don't mind that I reply here. I can understand how you can feel like I could've done more with Dumb Little Spacehouse, but really as much as I enjoyed writing it, it was hard for me to progress through the chapters. During the loooong period of time I was writing it, I graduated from college, moved to a foreign country, began living all alone, and working at my first full time job. 2008 was a pretty hectic year for me. It was hard for me to dedicate a steady train of thought with all that going on and over such a long period of time. Did -anyone- besides me notice a lot of inconsistencies in the plot? As much as I liked Spacehouse, I was pretty eager to wrap it up, but as I was planning that, I was inspired to start Spacejourney. As you can probably tell, I am updating it rather quickly so that I can keep up some consistency and not have to force my unwilling mind to come up with updates. Anyway, WillowFae, sorry if you were disappointed and thanks for the PM! :D**

**Geeze, this was long. See what happens when you give me attention? ;)**

**Sorry if this chapter is short! (Ugh, I hate it when my author's notes make my stories look very very small. X( )  
**

---~~~~~~~~~~~~~--------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~---------------------------~~~~~

"So..." said Dib as his better senses returned to him. Zim was out like a light, so it was hard to tell if his senses returned or not. "Who are you and where are we going?"

"We're from the planet Ufixit. We broadcast shows that show the galaxy that they CAN fix everyday items like your ship with your own hands."

"Despite the fact that the Irken empire has been using robots to fix ships for thousands of years..." commented Zim icily, he sounded somewhat groggy. He sat up and held his head.

"You don't remember how we got here, do you Zim?" teased Dib.

"Of COURSE I do!" Zim replied indignantly. He looked at the ship and gasped. "Some UNWORTHY being destroyed Zim's spaceship!" He glared at the Ufixit staff member closest to him. "Was it YOU?!?"

"These guys are going to fix the ship, Zim." Dib said. He turned to the staff. "Right?" They nodded back. "See, Zim?"

But Zim did not see. He was out like a light again.

"Sooo... they have some really strong Irken drugs at Sacred Squiggly Spooch, don't they?"

--~~~~~----------------~~~~----

Unlike seemingly every other planet they've been to, the producers of the show didn't snow any special interest in having the first real Earthling on inter galactic television on their show. So, Dib and Zim were left in a room to wait for their ship to be finished.

"...Where....?" Zim asked as he was waking up.

"We're on Ufixit. They're fixing Ten's ship that you crashed." Dib answered.

"ZIM did not crash the ship! It was the Dib! You... you... steering wheel grabber.. THING!"

"We would've crashed into an asteroid if it weren't for me." Dib replied bitterly.

"I don't know if your simple HYUUMAN mind has realized this, but I belong to the superior race of Ir- wait, did you say that the Ufixit team is fixing the ship?"

"Umm... yeah." Dib answered, a bit thrown off that Zim broke the argument of abruptly.

"ARRGG! CURSES!" he hopped up and walked out the door. His steps were a little wobbly.

"Zim!" Dib chased after him. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong, DIB, is that the Ufixit team are the worst repair drones in the galaxy." he paused briefly, "Actually, besides those on your putrid planet, they are the -only- repair drones in the galaxy!" He spun to glare at Dib and almost lost his balance. "And YOU let them near ZIM's ship!"

"It's not -your- ship, Zim, and if you remembered where we had just come from, you'd understand why I was so eager to leave."

"OF COURSE ZIM remembers!" Zim said defensively. There was a short silence where they just looked at each other. "Where did we just come from?"

Dib sighed and started walking again. Zim, remembering again that the ship was in less than capable hands, took off behind him.

"I think this is the door I came through..." Dib through out loud.

"Well then OPEN it!" yelled Zim.

Dib gave Zim an entirely unamused look and then opened the door.

They had barely stepped into the room before a voice announced-

"Ladies and Gentlemen! The owners and crashers of this ship, Irken Zim and Earthen Dib!"

"Oh, hey, boys! What brings you here?" asked one of the staff members with a wrench in his hand.

"We just came to lend a hand...?" answered Dib somewhat awkwardly.

"Thanks, but don't worry about it! We've got it under control."

"Oh..." said Dib, having no backup plan.

"At the count of 10," whispered Zim, "we get into the ship and see if we can recover the racing ship from inside."

"Ten kept that ship, remember?" Dib said quietly back, "Besides, even if it was still in there, it would've been trashed a lot worse than this ship."

Zim frowned in thought for a while. Then he noticed something amiss with the repairs. "You're doing it wrong!" He lunged forward, grabbed the tools that were being used, and managed to stop a device that was spewing smoke from blowing up.

"I thought Irkens only have robots fix their ships, Zim." Dib said mockingly.

Zim looked annoyed and somewhat embarrassed. "All Irken invaders are taught how to repair their ships by hand, just in case they end up unprepared on a backwater planet... such as your own."

"Well, that makes sense. But why are you embarrassed about it?" Dib asked.

"The Tallest say that fixing things by hand is relatively uncool and is something that invaders should avoid doing for the sake of their image." Zim answered quickly and in somewhat robotic fashion. He looked at the tool with disgust. "But this IS for the sake of returning to my very important mission."

Dib actually didn't care about Zim's answer or his reasoning. He began examining the ship. He was happy to see that much of it reminded him of Tak's ship. There were notable differences, of course, but it was close enough that Dib could see himself being able to fix it. He grabbed some tools and began to get to work.

The team member who was holding the wrench looked baffled at Dib and Zim for a while before he found words again. "Well... umm... I suppose you can help if you -really- want to."

Within minutes, almost every team and staff member had been driven away from the ship by Dib or Zim. They worked fast. The announcer couldn't see what they were doing clearly and keep up, so the narration of the repairs was choppy at best.

"Now to reset the lock and unlock codes..." Zim said with a grin.

"I did that already!" called the very last remaining team member working on the ship. "Don't worry, it's the same codes as before."

Zim cursed and Dib sighed with relief.

"I guess we're done then." said Dib.

"But... we've still got 10 minutes left in the program!" fretted one of the staff members.

"I know! We can take out the front window shield and then replace it again!" said another.

"No thanks! We'll.. umm... be going now." Dib said.

"If you leave now, we'll be canceled for sure!"

Dib saw that Zim was already by the door gesturing wildly for him to come and unlock the door.

Dib immediately dashed to the door and unlocked it. Then they took off as quickly as possible.

"Phew!" exclaimed Zim. "That was close!"

"We couldn't have stayed a second longer?" asked Dib.

"Look behind us."

Dib turned and saw the planet was being blown into tiny pieces. "What the-?"

"They were canceled." Zim said.

"What? That quickly?!" Dib asked, completely baffled.

"That was bound to happen before we even got there." Zim said dismissively.

Dib seriously wondered what he missed. "How did you know?"

"I got into a ridiculous conversation with that Racing Drone one time when you were doing your pathetic SLEEP... thing. I was telling the drone that The Tallest cancel network planets when they feel like it and the STUPID Racing Drone was insisting he could tell when something was going to be canceled-"

"So Ten told you how he can tell and you saw one of the signs while we were on Ufixit?" Dib interrupted.

"Of course not!" said Zim stubbornly.

"But you just said-"

"IRKENS need no advice from RACING DRONES, DIB!"

"Fine." Dib said, knowing the conversation was going to go no further. After a while, he spoke again. "Hey Zim, I have another question..."

Zim let out a noise of frustration. "What is WITH you and your STUPID questions? I am not your question answering monkey, DIIIB!"

"Well, I used to ask Ten, but he's not here anymore." Dib said. When he realized Zim wasn't going to reply, he spoke again. "Do canceled network planets always explode?"

"Yep!" Zim said, finding this question to be satisfactory because it made him think of things exploding.

Dib saw that Zim was grinning. He knew just what to say.

"Hey Zim, I bet the Tallest say fixing a ship by hand is uncool just because they can't that themselves." Dib mocked.

Zim's grin fell immediately and his eyes did a disturbing twitch. It was a few seconds before he could muster a reply.

"YOU!!! YOU- YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR BLASPHEMY HYUUMAN SCUM!" Zim yelled.

Dib laughed. "Hey, since you're angry beyond rational thought, can I pilot?"

----~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~--------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Just so we're on the same page here- this is the 5th chapter of what I fully expect to be a 9 chapter story. *scratches head* I think I worded that funny, somehow.**

**I actually already finished chapter 6, but I am going to wait a while before I post it.**

**My mom is coming to visit me here in Japan tomorrow so I am going to be rather busy for the next week showing her around. It's been about 8 months since I've last seen her in person, so I am excited about that.**


	6. Dress up?

**Dumb Little Spacejourney For Two**

**By: Jaha Canon**

**Review responses-**

**Chaos of the Asylum- Thanks! My mom and I really get along well, so it was a really good visit.**

**September Rhyme- Yuck, I hate it when things I write vanish like that! Thanks for rewriting! I guess I would consider Ten to be "humanoid"- although he isn't anymore human appearing that Zim is out of disguise (not implying that Ten looks Irken, as I said before, he's not). As for whether I'll imply for ZADR for you, well, I don't know. It's not going to be anymore ZADR-like than Zim's careless "this is how we are now" slip in Spacehouse, though. :)**

**Ninja chick- See my response to September Rhyme about the ZADR thing. I actually prefer to stay neutral when it comes to couplings in fanfiction, but I do like to "throw a bone", so to speak, when I know that my readers may enjoy it. So, no, this story will not be ZADR, but I try to make it fun for ZADR fans, got it? So no preparing for a change in direction necessary. As for Zim knowing what he was doing- this was kind of inspired from reading the wikipedia article on Zim while I was at work (I get really REALLY bored and I end up reading random wikipedia articles for hours.) It said that Zim's competence varies a lot from situation to situation. So, I decided to capture Zim in a "competent mode." Lastly, stop giving me delusions! "Genius"?!?!**

**Tallest Rainbow- All hail the Mighty Tallest! No, I am not planning on doing a Disney Channel planet. So, no worries. Anyway, thanks for reviewing, My Tallest, and I hope you found my reply to be most satisfactory.**

**The Illustrious Crackpot- Take as long as you want. :) You were very patient when I took forever with Spacehouse, after all. Oh, and THANK YOU for noticing my The Office spoof. I love that show. New episodes are the highlight of my Fridays because it is during my Friday work day here in Japan when new episodes air Thursday night in the US (time differences are tricky, huh?) and the episodes are usually up on the internet in time for me to watch them after I get home.**

**I really like replying to reviews, so I hope you guys like reading my replies.**

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing.**

~~~~----------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-----------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't BELIEVE this STUPID ship!" exclaimed Zim as he began hitting his head on the windshield.

"Zim, we just fixed-" Dib started before he saw what Zim noticed. "Are you serious? AGAIN?"

"THE REPAIR DRONES FORGOT TO REFUEL THE SHIP!" Zim screamed loud enough to split the galaxy in half.

"I guess we have to stop again then." Dib said with a sigh.

"No."

"No? Zim! We have no choice!"

"ZIM doesn't want to go to the nearest planet."

"What's wrong with it?"

"The nearest planet to where Ufixit was is Wefix-u." Zim said with a shudder.

"Wefix... you?" Dib repeated. Just then the ship rumbled. "We don't have a choice!"

---~~~~----~~~~~~-------~~~~~~

After a rather exciting landing, which luckily ended with the ship intact, they were on the surface of Wefix-u.

"Welcome to Wefix-u!" exclaimed someone at their ship door.

"Don't answer that." Zim warned.

"We know you're in there! You have to come out to start the fueling!" said another voice.

"Curses!" said Zim in a voice just above a whisper, "How many of them are there?"

"He's right, though, we do need to start fueling if we ever intend to leave." Dib spoke quietly back.

"Wait until they leave." Zim instructed.

"We're not going anywhere." said a new voice. It was as if they heard them!

"Zim, what's wrong with them? What do they do?" Dib asked.

"EVERYTHING is wrong with them, Diiiib. They tell you that your clothes are all wrong and.... stuff!"

Dib stood. "Well, then, we can go out there, start fueling, and tell them we're not interested."

Zim knew it was pointless, but what else could they possibly do? He began looking for a place to hide.

Dib opened the door.

"Ah! A hyuuman! That's a first!" exclaimed one of them.

"Uhh.. yeah, hi! We're just passing through to refuel our ship. We'll be on our way shortly."

"Not wearing that, I hope!" said another.

"Well, yes, I plan on wearing this, actually." Dib smiled, silently pleading that these aliens leave him alone. He felt their eyes scanning him and he became increasingly nervous.

"You're coming with us!"

"There's someone else in the ship! He said "we" before!"

"I found him!"

"CURSE YOU DIBMONSTER!!"

"..But the refueling!"

"Already started!"

"It's no use, Zim, lock the ship!"

Click.

Then the Irken and the Earthling were dragged away.

---~~~~~-------~~~~~~~~------

"This should be fun! We've never had hyuuman hair to work with before!"

Dib gulped.

"What -is- this?" One asked, holding the scythe-like part of Dib's hair. "This isn't really essential to his survival is it?"

"-You- read too many gossip magazines!"

"Should we cut it off then?"

"Nah, I think it's cute!"

"Cute? It just looks silly."

"Yes, silly in a cute way."

"Umm..." Dib spoke up, "I'd like to keep it if that's ok."

The one who wanted to cut the lock simply shrugged and sighed, while the one who didn't want to smiled.

----~~~~~~~~----------~~~~~~~~

"Funny, your invader uniform is just a little bit big on you."

Zim made a sound resembling an "eep." His eyes darted around to all of those around him.

"Of course not! This uniform is ZIM's size!"

"Umm... no it's not."

One of them laughed, "I know it's shameful for an Irken to be -this- short, but I've never heard of one purposely tampering with the fitting machine."

"NoIdidn't." Zim defended.

"Yes, you did. We can alter it for you."

"NO!" Zim exclaimed, hugging himself.

"Fine. Fine."

----~~~-----~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-------

"You, child of URTH, need to wear more color!"

Dib looked at his clothes. "Well, my shirt is blue if that helps."

"Well, in all honesty, no, it doesn't."

"It has a yellow face on it, too. See?"

"Oh, hyuman Dib, we're not the blind ones here."

---~~~~------------------~~~~~~~~-------------~~~

"OK, -now- I am blind." said Dib sourly.

"But now we can see your eyes!"

"Can I have my glasses back?" Dib asked.

"What kind of make over is it when we reverse what we've done?"

"I can't see." Dib complained. He reached for the glasses, but missed due to blurriness and lack of depth perception.

"We finished!" announced the team that was working on Zim as they dragged the Irken into the room.

"That's all you did?"

"Well, he just wears the invader uniform, not a lot to work with."

"Certainly the Irken empire wouldn't mind us at least giving him nicer shoes."

"Ah, good idea!"

"I STILL can't see." protested Dib.

Zim snickered and approached Dib. He began poking him.

"I can at least see that it's you, Zim."

"Noooo ittttt's noooot." said Zim, trying to disguise his voice. He continued poking.

Dib tried to nudge Zim's pokes away unsuccessfully. "I know it's you, Zim, now quit it."

.....

"Quit it! Would you get my glasses for me, Zim?"

"Why should I?"

"Well, for starters, I need to be able to see to unlock the ship."

Zim glared at the human for a while, then sent out one of his robotic spider legs to snatch the glasses quicker than anyone could react. Now holding the glasses in his hand, he hesitated for a moment.

Dib fought back the impulse to plead knowing fully well that if he tried to plead with Zim, this would only take longer and be more painful in the long run.

Then the glasses were handed to him.

Dib also knew better than to try to thank the Irken, but he was almost unable to stop himself.

"Tha- hey, what happened to you??" Dib said one he was able to see Zim clearly.

"I could ask you the same thing SmellyDibberson." Zim said with a grin.

Dib looked down at what he was wearing. His shirt was replaced with a brightly colored and definitely tacky looking Hawaiian shirt and his pants were replaced with khakis. His boots were gone and the only alternative the could see were crocs.

"Do you like it? It's inspired from Urth fashion."

"I can't be a paranormal investigator dressed like THIS!" Dib exclaimed.

"I suppose not!" said one of the team members. "That would be just.... paranormal!"

They all laughed, including Zim.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Dib said before he spun to face Zim again, "You shouldn't laugh, Zim, you've got bows on your antenna, a red feather boa, and stickers on your Pak."

"WHAT?" Zim exclaimed. He reached up and felt the bows on his antenna, he quickly took them off. Then he briefly spun like a dog chasing his tail to look at the stickers. Finally, the glared at the team that was in charge of his make over. "This is a DISGRACE!"

"Umm... Zim?" Dib interrupted, "what about the boa?"

"Oh, well, this is fine." Zim said hurriedly.

"It hides the fact that his uniform is a little too big for him."

"NO IT'S NOT!" Zim exclaimed.

One of the members of Zim's make over team re-entered. "I got the shoes."

They were black shoes that looked much newer than the ones Zim previously wore. And when he put them on, his face lit up.

"I'm... taller." said Zim with complete and total amazement.

"You are?" asked Dib.

"Just the smallest, tiniest little bit." said the team member who brought in the shoes. "I figured it might make his uniform's size look a bit more natural."

"Or add to his insane ego."

The team members laughed and shrugged indifferently.

Zim stood up straight and proudly.

Dib sighed at both his current misfortune and that which he was sure was coming. Cringing both inwardly and outwardly, he slipped on the crocs.

"IRKEN ZIM AND EARTHEN DIB..." said a booming voice. "THERE IS NO ESCAPING NOW."

Everyone turned to see that someone had entered the room.

Koach!

"I WILL TEAR YOU TO PIECES FOR DESTROYING REALITEEVEE!"

While Dib's mind was switching back and forth between looking for a place to hide and repeating "whatshouldIdo?whatshouldIdo?" quicker than he could keep track, Zim's spider legs came out ready to attack.

"Sportscastia's Koach, right? Don't they sell bigger sized clothes? You look like a blimp in that."

"That hat looks like he only takes it off to sleep."

Both the team that had worked on Zim and the team that had worked on Dib began to surround Koach. Koach's threatening manner dissolved and he began trying to get him to leave them alone.

Dib and Zim, of course, took this chance to run away as quickly as possible.

The ship was done refueling when they came back. They got back in and took off.

"You can take the boa off, Zim, no one can tell your uniform is too big for you."

Zim glared at Dib and hugged the boa tighter around his shoulders.


	7. DLSSTDFSITPTIWTWA

**Dumb Little Spacejourney For Two Presents---**

**Dumb Little Side Stories That Don't Fit Snugly into the Plot That I Wanted to Write Anyway (For Two)**

**By: Jaha Canon**

**Review replies-**

**TallestCora- Nah, they threw away Dib's old outfit. :)**

**Ninja chick- Yeah, I kind of assumed the ship has some sort of GPS. Oh, and exclamation marks are just fine for reviews! Thanks!**

**Thanks, as always, to Famelia Ly and September Rhyme for their reviews.**

**Just one more note- **

**In all seriousness, I just got an email from Amazon offering me free shipment on Crocs. No lie. (haha)**

**Anyway, **

**These are just a couple of shorts- ideas I had that didn't quite fit into the plot, so I didn't bother expanding on them more. I kind of wanted to do this for Spacehouse, too, but then decided I should be keeping the story going. So, yeah, this isn't a "real" update. I'll get one to you really soon. **

**I actually FINISHED the story. Well, actually, the last two chapters still require some editing, but yeah, I'll put those up gradually. I -have- thought of a sequel idea, but it's not very promising at this point and I do believe in letting things die while they're still... enjoyable? Could the DLS series make it as a trilogy? Meh, I doubt it. **

--~~~~~~~----------------------~~~~

-1-

"So, this planet is called KandidKamahrah because there are hidden cameras everywhere?" Dib asked.

Zim didn't seem to be paying any attention to what Dib was saying.

"But it's not candid if people know the minute they land they're being watched." Dib insisted.

They stepped off of the spaceship and onto the planet.

"There's a camera right there!" Dib said, pointing a camera that was in plain sight right in front of him.

"Heh?" Zim asked, looking around. "There is no camera here Dibscum."

"Yes! It's right there!"

Just then, a voice was heard over an intercom. "Earthen Dib and Irken Zim are completely unaware of the fact they are being watched. Now let's see if they fall for the trap."

"What trap?" Dib questioned, but he wasn't entirely sure who to ask. "And I can see the camera RIGHT there."

"Oooh, look, monies!" Zim said in a happy voice. He reached over to pick up the abandoned cash. Right as he picked up the currency, a swinging boot came from nowhere and knocked both of them off of their feet.

"That's no fair!" Dib complained to the sky, "I saw the camera and I didn't fall for the trick!"

"WHAT?" Zim exclaimed, "ZIM is being filmed??!?"

Just then a banner fell from some unknown place in the sky.

It read- "You're on Candid Camera!"

Confetti fell to the ground and balloons floated into the sky.

--------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~--------------------------------

-2-

"I am so glad you two just happened to land on Awardshowia today!" gushed the stage manager as she ushered Zim and Dib to the stage. "They canceled at the last moment and we thought we wouldn't have anyone for this part."

"But... what do we say?" Dib asked, dragging his feet.

"Just read the prompters." she assured.

And then they were pushed out on stage.

They made their way to the podium. Zim squinted trying to read the prompter.

"This neck a wooord... goo fo...?"

"Your vision is really bad, Zim."

"It's PERFECT Irken vision." Zim said defensively, crossing his arms.

The audience they were addressing laughed as if it were a scripted joke.

Dib read the prompter. "This next award goes to a show that not only brings many laughs and heartwarming moments, but reminds us that even the most little understood, disgusting, and low tech creatures in the universe can be some of our most beloved characters of TV. Without any further introduction, the winner of the Best Sitcom award is..." Dib trailed off. "I am NOT reading this."

Zim squinted again at the prompter and tried to read.

"Hello! I mauled a huge skunk calamity fur uniform?" he tried.

Dib sighed, hesitated, then read. "HELP! I Married A HYUUUMAN Stink Creature from URRTH" He handed the award to the alien that came up to receive it and then began walking off the stage, shaking his head.

Zim remained on the stage, still squinting at the prompter. "How did THEY win?" He was shooed off the stage immediately after.

----~~~~~~~--------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-3-

"Hello Dib!"

"Ugggh... my head hurts! Where am I?" Dib asked.

"You're on Sehsaami!" replied a high pitched, cartoon-y voice.

"Wait, you're a puppet..." Dib pointed out, coming out of his grogginess. He looked and sure enough the being he was talking to was made of cloth and it was being controlled.

Of course, the puppeteers were not fond of the fact he was looking right at them.

"I'm glad you're here, Dib, because we're just about to introduce our letter of the day!" said the puppet.

"Well... ok.." Dib replied. He looked around wondering where Zim ended up.

"Are you ready?" the puppet asked eagerly.

"Umm... sure."

The puppet leaned in closer to Dib. "You would be a tad more enthusiastic, kid." it seemed to whisper in a noticably deeper voice.

Dib backed away from the puppet a little and nodded.

"Are you really ready, Dib?" the puppet asked.

Dib looked around self consciously. "....Yeah!"

"The letter of the day is..."

After a dramatic pause, the puppet said something that sounded like "derf".

"What letter is that?!" Dib asked.

"The 142nd letter of the alphabet!" said the puppet in a singsong voice.

"Oh." sDib said dumbfounded.

"WHAT KIND OF HORRIBLE THING IS THIS? SINGING? ZIM?" Zim's yelling voice could be heard suddenly. Before long, the Irken marched into the room Dib was in. He crumpled up the paper he was holding and threw it at Dib's head.

Dib opened up the crumpled piece of paper and read the tile of the song. "It's not easy being green."

"I can't decide whether this is funny or just really really weird." Dib commented to himself.


	8. Q&A?

**Dumb Little Spacejourney for Two**

**By: Jaha Canon**

**Sooo... there are two chapters after this and that will be the last of the DLS series as I know of for sure now. I -did-, however, think of a pretty good idea for a sequel, but it's still sort of in the brainstorming stage. I doubt that it will be updated as frequently as Spacejourney, but I am -FAIRLY- confident that it won't be as bad as Spacehouse. *shakes head* I also expect it to be a little bit shorter of a story. Anyway, I have a basic outline of the story and I do kind of want to share it with someone who would give me their honest opinion about it. So, the first person to tell me they want to look at my outline in a way that convinces me they won't just say "AMAZING!" to -just anything- will get a nice little PM from me. :)**

**I want to decide for sure whether DLS is going to be trilogy by the time I post the last chapter. **

**Now for review responses--**

**Ninja chick- Funny you should mention other IZ stories. I actually wrote an Invader Zim one-shot recently and I was planning on putting that up pretty soon. It's -kind of- based on something that happened to me recently. **

**Thanks to Alana-kittychan, Crazy4Pie, and September Rhyme for your wonderful reviews. :) **

----~~~~~~~~~~~~----------------~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dib almost fell out of his chair due to the dramatic turn Zim made suddenly. "Zim, what are you doing?"

"TALKSHOWIA!" was all Zim replied.

Dib gripped the seat. "They lied to you about having an interview to lure you to Realiteevee, remember? Besides, you would be really late now..."

Zim didn't acknowledge Dib's words- it just didn't agree with reality as Zim really really wanted to see it.

"Zim! Let's go back to Earth, already!"

Zim hurriedly and eagerly landed the ship and, before Dib could say anything, left the ship.

Dib rushed to the doorway and called after him to lock the ship, but Zim was already too faraway to hear. Shaking his head, he shut the door and started wondering what he could do to pass the time before Zim comes back.

---------~~~~~~-------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sorry... umm... Zim, right?" said a security guard. "You don't have clearance to enter here."

"Of course ZIM has an interview! Well, I am maybe a couple months late... but... but I am ZIM!"

"We established that you are Zim, Zim." said the security guard tiredly.

Zim nodded and waited expectantly.

The guard sighed, "OK, if I go in and ask them, but you go away if I tell you they said no."

Zim waited a while before the guard came back.

"Do you have the hyuuman with you?" the guard asked.

"The Dib?" Zim questioned, he looked around him. He hadn't thought of where Dib was. For all he knew, he could've been right next to him. "I guess he's with the ship."

"Well, they said they won't put you on a show without the hyuuman."

Zim looked at the guard with a stunned expressed. "They -want- the STINKBEAST on the show?"

The guard shrugged, "Hey, I'm just a messenger."

Zim turned on his heels and ran back to the ship.

----~~~~~~~------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Boy, Ten wasn't kidding when he said this ship has really good security..." Dib commented to himself as he tried to tinker with the ship's lock code.

If he was going to be killing time in this ship he might as well do something that would benefit him.

Of course, once Zim found out, it would be more than time that was killed.

Then it dawned on Dib suddenly. If he took the ship straight to Earth, he wouldn't have to lock it. He could work on that part once he's got his dad's equipment to work with again.

"Yes! If I take the ship right now it will take Zim a very long time to return to Earth if he is able to return at all. Even if it's just a month or a week without Zim, I can focus on other paranormal things that I've been neglecting since his arrival on Earth. Oh! And I could go into his base and get evidence. Wow, it would be really something if Zim landed back on Earth only to find no one would believe his tricks anymore-"

"Filth child!" exclaimed Zim as he suddenly barged through the door.

Dib, once again, cursed the fact that he always breaks in monologue and loses a lot of potentially useful time.

Zim managed to mesh together a commanding and a pleading tone as he dragged Dib out of the ship. "Let's go!"

"Where? Zim! Lock the door!"

But Zim didn't seem to hear him.

----~~~~~------------------------~~~~~~

"So, Zim, how would you describe your relationship with Dib?" asked the host on the talk show.

"Elite member of a superior Irken race and HYUUMAN stinkbeast from a BARBARIC planet." Zim said automatically.

"So you believe you are a lot smarter than Dib?"

Zim nodded, "Of course ZIM is!"

"Then why haven't you conquered Urth yet?"

Zim looked lost for an answer. "Uhh... dumb luck! I mean, I haven't even been trying... umm... he... wears... a jacket?"

The interviewer looked at Dib's clothes that he still wore from Wefix-U.

"That is a very nice shirt, Dib."

Dib sighed. "I didn't even want to have this interview."

"So how would you describe your relationship with Zim, then?"

"He's a destructive idiot and I'm the only person who can stop him from destroying my planet."

"But the human race doesn't seem to worry about Irken invaders"

"That's because they don't know. They're... umm.. preoccupied?"

Zim was about to remark, before he was asked another question.

"If you had to choose one thing that you appreciate about Dib, what would that be?"

Zim scowled, "I thought we were going to talk about ZIM!"

When he got no reply, he thought for a while.

The interviewer got tired of waiting. "We'll get back to you. How about you, Dib? What do you appreciate about Zim?"

"Well, I guess I know a lot more about aliens now. Like what Irkens' weaknesses are and what makes them tick." Dib replied after thinking for a bit. "Human will learn a lot once we can cut Zim open and see what's inside."

"I got it!!" Zim finally said.

"What do you appreciate about Dib?"

"The Dib's head would probably make an excellent flotation device!"

"That's just sick!" Dib said, disgusted.

"-YOU- were talking about Zim's insides!" Zim spat back.

The interviewer sat, jaw slightly open. Soon smoke began coming from her ear.

Dib pointed at the interviewer and looked questioningly at the camera. "Uhhh... can anyone explain to me why that's happening?"

"I KNEW it was an interview bot!" Zim exclaimed as the robot short circuited and fell from his chair. "Can we get a real interviewer?"

A stage manager walked onto the stage. "No, I am afraid they are all booked right now."

"So when does ZIM get an interview?" Zim asked eagerly.

The stage manager gestured the security guard to usher Zim and Dib out of the building. Zim kicked and screamed, but Dib walked very much entirely on his own.

"I am really tired of this intergalactic TV stuff. Let's just go to Earth, already." Dib said.

Zim hated to agree with Dib, but it was all getting really old to him too.

They arrived back to where the ship was.

Wait... "was"?

The ship was gone.

"Someone stole the ship!" Zim exclaimed. He spun towards Dib angrily.

"Don't look at me! You're the one who forgot to lock the door!"

Zim seethed. "I don't get it! What about all of the other security on that ship?"

"Well... actually, I was tinkering with that a little..." Dib said nervously.

"Why YOU TERRIBLE-"

"Feeling stranded without a ship?" asked a voice seemingly from nowhere.

"YES!" Zim let out a frustrated scream in reply, startling those with the misfortune of being nearby.

"Zim, it's coming from that giant TV over there. Don't reply to it." Dib pointed it out.

"Sign up now and you could win a brand new spaceship!" boomed the announcers voice. .

Zim and Dib simultaneously made gestures to "shush" one another and turned their entire attention to the advertisement.

~~~~~~~--------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~------

**This is not my favorite of all of the chapters, but I figure it keeps the wheels moving. I already wrote the last two chapters (one is just an "Afterward") and I do really like them, but no worries if you kind of agree with chapter is a little weak. Eep! I also just realized that this is my shortest chapter yet in this story (besides the last chapter, but that doesn't count). :S  
**

**As always, thanks for reading. (What do you guys make of my overboard graciousness, anyway... lol)**


	9. You're all winners?

**Dumb Little Spacejourney For Two**

**By: Jaha Canon**

**Ninja chick- Woah... umm... thanks? Sorry, I guess that came at sort of a bad time. I guess part of the reason why this chapter took so long was because I didn't want to come wrong in my reply to you. I'll reply to each of your remarks in the same order you gave them. 1) Sorry! I SUCK at descriptions! I am bad about them even in real life. That's why, well, I have no aspirations to become an actual writer. 2) I didn't -think- I abused that TOO much, but I guess I could be wrong. I actually sort of copied that style from a book I read in English class in high school. But really, it all kinda comes down to the fact that I get tired of thinking of other words for "said", "exclaim", "lament"... etc. Sorry if it's confusing. **

**3) THIS one deserves it's own line because YOU'RE RIGHT. I was INCREDIBLY unclear on that one. The reason why Realiteevee didn't go through on the "escape and Earth will be destroyed" is because Zim and Dib took out the planet as they left so there was no one with the power to do so. -That's- why I had them destroy the planet. Oh man (laughs), I really COULD'VE stood to be a little more clear about that one. Sometimes I just kind of decide something is obvious in my head when it's not. :S Anyway, thanks for the review. **

**Thanks to TallestCora, Akuhime-chan, Depression17, and Alana-kittychan, as always, for reviewing! :)**

**Oh, and I hope this isn't a disappointment for anyone (it probably isn't), but at this point I am thinking that I will not make a third DLS story. It doesn't really so much have to do with the response I've gotten about my story idea, but rather in this long period between the posting of the last chapter and now, my interest in doing more for the DLS series pretty much faded. At this point, I kind of want to upload this chapter, the afterward, wrap it up, and move on. To the person who sent me the PM, I do intend to reply to the message. I'll just say at this point, thanks for taking the time. **

**Sorry, this chapter is corny. I guess I'm kind of bad at wrapping things up.**

**--------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~---------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"THAT'S IT! ZIM will use his superior intelligence to win a ship!"

"But Zim, how will be get to Gameshowia? We don't have a ship!"

Zim did something that resembled an eyeroll. "Pssh, you are sooo stupid. Talkshowia and Gameshowia are always having to transport audience members back and forth."

"Oh." Dib said, a little surprised at the sudden convenience. "But Zim..."

"What?!" Zim said impatiently and he faced the human.

"Haven't you noticed we have absolutely no luck?"

Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib. "You might require LUCK, HYUUMAN, but Zim needs none."

Dib looked back at the giant television, which had returned to talk show broadcasting.

"Well, I guess it's better than being stuck here for sure."

-----------~~~~~~~~~~~~~------------------------~~~~~~

"Welcome to 'Answer the Questions or Shame Your Race'! Where, today, a lucky contestant will fly away on a brand new spaceship!"

The audience oooo'd and aaaah'd when the curtain opened to reveal the prize.

"Let's meet our contestants! Jeb from Foodcourtia!"

"Happy to be here!"

"Blahgerph from Slop!"

"Duuurrrrr...."

"The Irken Zim."

"Irken INVADER ZIM" Zim corrected.

"and our first URTHEN contestant, Dib."

"For the record, it's 'Earthling'." Dib said pointedly.

"I believe most of you know the rules, but I'll go over them real quick anyway. I ask a question and if you know the answer, push the buzzer in front of you. If you're wrong, the next person to push the button gets to try. If you're right, the other contestants get electrocuted."

Dib looked at the wires that were connected to him. "I really should've guessed."

"First question! How many ships make up the Irken Armada?"

All of the buzzers went off except for Dib's.

"Blahgerph! You buzzed in first!"

"Duuurrrrrrrrr......"

"OK, Zim, you buzzed in second!"

"Many! Very very many!" Zim answered.

"You're correct!"

The other contestants were shocked.

The screen on the front of Zim's podium now showed 10 instead of 0.

Zim grinned smugly at Dib. His hair was sticking up even more than usual.

_Wait,_ realized Dib suddenly, _I knew that._

"Next question, in what galaxy does the planet Callnowia exist in?"

All contestants buzzed in this time.

"Blahgerph? You buzzed in first again."

"Guuuhhhh."

"Dib, you were second!"

"The Ordurnow galaxy!" the human answered.

"Correct!"

Zim and the other two contestants were electrocuted.

Dib stood up straight and gave Zim a cocky smile. Zim glared back.

_That's right- I read about it in those newspapers back on Realiteevee. _Dib thought with a smile.

"Now, Blahgerph? Are you sure you're up for participating in this contest today?"

Blahgerph didn't reply, but rather fell asleep right there on the podium.

"The electricity didn't bother him at all?" Dib asked.

"OK then, three contestants! Next question- Who was named Irken Invader of the Year this year?"

All three of them buzzed in.

"Zim, you were first. And you only need to buzz once."

"ZIM! It was ZIM!"

"Incorrect! Jeb?"

"I believe it was Invader Skooge."

"SKOOGE?!" Zim yelled with disbelief.

"Incorrect! Dib?"

"It was Invader Larb." Dib answered.

"Correct!"

Zim gripped the podium as electricity shot through him.

The game progressed on for almost a half an hour. Dib had 50 points, Zim had 40, and Jeb had 30.

"All right! If Dib gets this next question! He wins! Here goes- what are the boxes HYUUMANS talk to?"

All three contestants buzzed in.

"Dib, you were first."

"Cell phones." Dib answered.

"INCORRECT! Jeb, you buzzed in second."

"Talky boxes!" she answered.

"CORRECT!"

Zim and Dib were electrocuted.

"This is a really close game, ladies and gentlemen!"

Dib groaned, he had forgotten for a moment that he had to base his answers off what he had read rather than what he actually knew. Especially when it came to questions about Earthlings.

"OK, next question- what color are the clothes that the current All Mighty Tallest wear?"

Dib, who buzzed first, answered. "One wears red and the other wears purple."

"INCORRECT! Zim?"

"The colors of amazingness!" Zim answered.

"CORRECT!"

Dib and Jeb were shocked once again.

"We've got Zim and Dib tied at 50 and Jeb close behind at 40. Next question- what is the most dreaded of URRTH-made weaponry?" Dib buzzed in first. "Dib?"

"The chicken egg." Dib answered.

"CORRECT! The URTHEN Dib wins the contest!"

"YES!" exclaimed Dib victoriously.

Zim glared at Dib after the electrocution passed, "You FILTHY stinkbeast! You told ZIM it was only HYUUMAN food!"

Dib ignored Zim and made his way across the stage to the ship. He was handed a remote, which he used to open the door to the ship. Part of the ceiling opened to allow the vehicle an exit.

Dib paused to take a good look at the ship and let out a giddy squeak of happiness.

Zim immediately scurried across the stage as Dib entered the ship.

Dib stood in the doorway and watched him.

"Who said you're coming with me, Zim?" Dib asked.

"Oh don't be silly! Zim would have taken you on his ship." Zim said in an ALMOST convincing kind tone.

Dib stared blankly back. "No you wouldn't have."

Zim's eyes darted, "Well, yeah, but...."

BOOM!

Another part of the ceiling was broken open and a ship was hovering over the audience. Missiles were positioned ready to fire.

"Say goodbye!" threatened Koach from inside.

Dib's hand went for the remote to close the door to his ship.

"DIB! You will never prove the existence of aliens without me!" Zim said in a final attempt.

Dib froze, "What?"

"If Zim never returns to Earth, how will you ever prove Zim was ever there?" Zim said, "You -could- call your FRIEND racing drone and show him to the world. See what his insides look like. That's right! You won't because the racing drone is too STUPID and FRIENDship-ish. You're chances are very very small, HYUUMAN, but they're better with Zim."

Zim's words sunk in. They rang true. Would he feel inclined to give a good hearted alien like Ten similar treatment if Zim weren't around? Has any had ANY contact with something paranormal as long as he has had contact with Zim?

Just then, Koach fired a missile. It was close, but it missed them.

"I won't miss next time!" called Koach.

"Get in!" Dib called.

When Zim was in the ship, Dib shut the door. The human then sat in the pilot's seat and took off.

Koach's spaceship was following them shooting missiles. Dib was managing to avoid them, but they just kept coming.

"This ship has missiles, Dibstink, shoot his ship down!"

"I can't get to them now..." Dib said, focusing on dodging. "Could you..."

Zim nodded. "On the count of three, turn the ship around and on 5, ZIM fires." Zim instructed.

Dib nodded.

1

2

3

Dib turned the wheel.

4

The ship now faced Koach's.

5

Zim fired the missiles.

Koach's ship exploded.

"Phew..." said Dib.

"Yep, that was close." Zim said with a satisfied smile.

There was an awkward silence.

Zim opened his mouth and then shut it again, getting a weird look from Dib. He coughed awkwardly. "Of course none of this means that I am going to stop trying to kill you and take over your putrid planet for the Irken empire."

Dib rolled his eyes and reset the course for Earth.

**-------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~---------**

**And now there's just an "Afterward."**


	10. Epilogue: Homecoming

**Dumb Little Spacejourney For Two**

**By: Jaha Canon**

**This is the last chapter I will be posting for the DLS series. I am fairly certain at this point that I will not be writing a third story for this series. If you would like me to PM you if I -am- suddenly possessed to do so someday in the future, please let me know in a review. **

**Either way, thanks for following along, reading, reviewing, and being overall awesome. **

**TallestCora- Yeah, but I think Dib's main focus was to win rather than to actually be right. Come to think of it, that's the opposite of how he does things on Earth. Interesting, huh? :)**

**Alana-kittychan- Yeah, sorry! But thanks for reading!**

**Ninja chick- Don't worry, it wasn't at all your fault. I sort of fell out of love with the idea of making a sequel before I got any sort of criticism. I was a little bit put off by your remarks, but I think that was mostly just because of the timing. They probably wouldn't have bothered me at all if they came when I wasn't kind of in an icky mood. :) I'm looking forward to your reviews in the future. **

**Did you notice that the ending of Spacehouse and Spacejourney (the chapter before this one) both included countdowns? I don't really know why that happened. (haha)**

**Thanks again for taking your time to read this and sorry that I am not a super good writer. (I tend to believe that a little less than perfection is forgivable in the world of fanfiction, but I suppose not everyone agrees.)**

**Anyway, here's the epilogue. **

**----~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~---------------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"EARTH!" Dib cried affectionately as he stepped back onto his home planet. He inhaled the air deeply and was quickly reminded why he never used to do that before.

"Ugh, this TERRIBLE smelling place again." Zim complained.

"-You- wanted to come back here." Dib reminded him. He then spoke in the most pathetic voice he could muster. "Oh Dib! Please please please let me go with you to Earth!"

Zim crossed his arms and glared at Dib. "I have a mission to finish."

Dib ignored Zim in favor of the ship. "I guess I can come back for this later. I don't imagine it would fit very well in the garage."

Zim pushed a button on his wrist and shot a laser at the ship causing it to blow up.

Dib's arms flailed wildly for a few seconds as he tried to find words.

"That was MINE!" Dib said angrily.

Zim gave Dib an irritated look.

"You could have better ways of dealing with jealousy." Dib remarked cooly. After a little bit of Zim's stubborn silence, he sighed. "See you at skool, Zim."

"Uhh.. yeah, skool." Zim replied.

And then they walked off in their own separate directions.

~~~~~~-----------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~----------------------

Dib entered his house and found Gaz on the couch playing her Game Slave.

"Gaz!" Dib exclaimed as he ran up to his sister.

"Leave me alone, Dib, I'm on a really difficult level."

"Haven't you wondered where I've been all this time?" Dib asked.

"No." She spared a second to look at her brother and noticed his clothes. "What happened to you?"

"Well, it all began when Zim and I were kidnapped and taken to some kind of alien television network reality TV planet..."

"And how did -that- cause you to start dressing like some unfortunate child's dad on vacation?"

"Well, it's a long story and I was going to get to that part."

"Forget it, I don't want to hear it." Gaz said.

Dib looked discouraged.

"Hey, I wonder if I could get the channel with Ten's show to broadcast on our TV." Dib mused, mostly to himself.

"Get rid of any of the channels we have now and you're DEAD, Dib."

---~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-----------------------~~~~~

Zim was relieved that his base was all in one piece when he returned. He entered the house and found Gir watching television.

"Hiya master!" Gir greeted, "I memorized every Full House episode there ever was!" The robot giggled for reasons beyond human or Irken comprehension.

Zim glared at the television and then at Gir.

"Don't like Full House, master?" Gir asked, "How about Star Trek?"

"GIR! Turn that THING off now."

---END----

**----~~~~~~~~~~~~~--------~~~~~~~~-------------------------**

**Full House - Dumb Little Spacehouse for Two**

**Star Trek - Dumb Little Spacejourney for Two**

**I actually didn't type those two shows on purpose for that reason. I was simply trying to think of shows that have A LOT of episodes. Later on I realized that the titles kind of relate to the titles of the DLS series. **

**Thanks for reading, everyone! I was always very happy to hear that people enjoyed what I was writing. **

**Oh, and just in case you wondered about the random places I got inspiration from for this story----**

**(of course, hardly anything listed here is exactly replicated...)**

**TV-**

**The Office**

**Who's Line Is It Anyway**

**Queer Eye for the Straight Guy**

**Candid Camera**

**Sesame Street/Muppets in general**

**Youtube-**

**"Literal version" of "Arms Wide Open" - drugged Zim's "I'M FLYING" comment.**

**"David After Dentist" - pretty much everything else drugged Zim said.**

**"Charlie the Unicorn"- Dib in the Sesame Street based world (KIND of.)**

**Other-**

**Award show scene was inspired from clips of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert at the Emmys. (can be found on youtube)**

**The really bad interview- inspired from clips of interviews at award shows that I've watched on the internet. Those interviewers are... uhh... bad.**

**(Unfortunately, I really can't remember what I based anything off of for Spacehouse. Except for maybe the last two chapters or so...)**


End file.
